A Certain Type of Decisive

United States

Just your unfriendly neighborhood disaster, bringing you bi-weekly updates from the bottom of my own shoe!

Message to Readers

Math, math, the wonderful fruit, the more you learn, the more you want to shoot yourself in the foot. I know I'm too old to be talking about this level of math, but my calculus class has only been reviewing for half the quarter and I'm low key worried.

Math and Poetry

August 26, 2020


I tried to handcuff the moon to the sky because I liked it more than the sun
But the stars disappeared and she got lonely--
Isn't everyone lonely?
Did you make the mistake of imagining me differently than I am?
Thank god we weren't parallel
It was a miracle we ever even met
But we tried too hard to be perfect
To be perpendiculars
That every angle we saw each other we looked just the same
And every time it was just 
But life isn't linear
And we were never going to be perpendicular.

I tried to tape down the ocean to keep the tide from retreating
But it washed away the sand and there was no beach left to stand on--
There's never anything solid to stand on
I'm good at math, but not so much as thinking past my own happiness
Wouldn't everyone be a little happier if the ocean stayed still just a moment longer?
For the longest time I thought you were my asymptote
That I'd get closer
and closer
and closer
And from far away you'd think we were the same,
but up close you know we would never

I stuck bubblegum in my alarm clock gears to keep summer longer
But the fruits never ripened and no harvest ever came
The fruits of my labor weren't so edible as I hoped
And I was hungry--
Isn't everyone hungry?
Or did you think everything stayed exactly where you left it?
You were exponential and I, a polynomial
You changed and changed the way you changed
And I was up and down
And up and down
And up and down again.
I kept trying to factor us--
The solution- irrational and imaginary
And every time I try to solve our little system of equations
I have to stop and marvel at the chances 
And I know 
It's a miracle we ever even met


See History

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • thelostave

    Woah. WOW. I mean....WOW. I- I- don't even know what to.... This is amazing.

    10 days ago
  • BooWolf476 (#spookified)

    Just fantastic!!!!! :)

    28 days ago
  • beth r.

    this is amazing!
    re: lol ur comment made jayden's day XD

    about 1 month ago
  • ek503

    gahh this is wonderful!!
    "I stuck bubblegum in my alarm clock gears to keep summer longer / But the fruits never ripened and no harvest ever came / The fruits of my labor weren't so edible as I hoped / And I was hungry-- / Isn't everyone hungry?"
    gorgeousss. i'm in love.

    about 1 month ago
  • Paisley Blue

    I love this <3 so beautifully written! Wonderful poem!

    about 1 month ago
  • Hazen

    aw this is so... wow. Amazing writing.

    about 1 month ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Something makes me think you'll enjoy this

    about 2 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    im back to reread this masterpiece ^u^ also good luck with calc. i have heard things.
    also lmao at your comment

    2 months ago
  • poetri

    "But the stars disappeared and she got lonely//isn't everyone lonely?"
    uGH the Mr. Jones and Me vibes here just are so *chef's kiss* literally someone set this to music, i'd never stop listening. fantastic work.

    2 months ago
  • Century Friend

    Replying: So I’m starting to like your interpretation better than what it’s actually about?
    The fact that you looked up the mint leaves made me smile, and I wish I could say I’d done the same when writing it. The poem itself, especially that line, ended up having several layers/meanings, but I’ll try my best to summarize. This is gonna be long, I’m really sorry.
    That line was initially based on something I’d said to a friend about things getting better with time, if she shifted her focus and found other sources of happiness (since she was trying to get over someone). So at first, the mint leaves represented the bitterness (I’m not the biggest fan of mint) that starts to take root inside a person when they let themselves grieve for an unhealthy amount of time. The sun staying still meant neglecting to find other sources of happiness, and also mentally remaining in one point in time. As the poem developed, I started thinking about the freshness of mint, and that it can be used to cover up bad smells, among other things. So it represents a whole bunch of stuff.
    What the poem is about overall (though it’s difficult to put into normal, non-metaphoric, coherent words) is this false “dreamworld” built by society and by our own expectations — in regards to relationships, careers, talent, beauty, pretty much anything you can think of. There’s this kind of difference/ultimate similarity between the narrator (me) and the person described as “you” (initially my friend, but came to mean people who tend to fall for this “dreamworld”). The “you” falls in love with the Stars’ stories and has difficulty handling that things don’t turn out that way. Meanwhile, the narrator has always tried to keep their hopes down, and ultimately still finds themselves feeling like they’ve failed. They ask the Stars how many worlds they’ve seen — kind of meant to be said skeptically, as in, “you haven’t seen everything, you don’t know everything about life,” but then it’s also supposed have this underlying sense of wonder that the narrator can’t help feeling.
    Not sure any of this was clear enough at all in the poem though. Should I be more specific?
    Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to tell me your interpretation. It’s so helpful to hear that kind of opinion and I really, really appreciate it.
    This was SO LONG I’m sorry!!!

    2 months ago
  • Lata.B

    The start was just W O W
    and then how it perfectly flowed throughout

    2 months ago
  • Jasmine khawar

    Woah! This is amazing! I literally speechless, I love every single line it! But specially the first one is so beautiful <3

    2 months ago
  • Century Friend

    Oh my gosh, I love every single line in this! It beautifully depicts this sense of trying to hold onto something fleeting, which is further reinforced by the first lines of each stanza — “I tried to handcuff the moon to the sky because I liked it more than the sun,” “I tried to tape down the ocean to keep the tide from retreating,” and “I stuck bubblegum in my alarm clock gears to keep summer longer.” I also just love those lines so much. Amazing poem overall.

    Replying: Thanks so much for your comment on my piece! I’d love to hear how you interpreted it, and if you’d want me to explain what my intention was when writing it, I can do that as well. I’m a huge believer in readers being able to interpret and relate to a poem however they want, but I still wouldn’t want the whole piece to be too vague. So I’d love to hear your opinion.
    (Also by the way, the number 83 has a personal meaning to me — so you don’t need to read too much into that, lol.)
    Sorry for how insanely long this comment is XD

    2 months ago
  • madeline3.14159

    Love it, Love it, Love it!! It's things like this that both crush my self esteem and inspire me at the exact same time. XD

    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Okay just amaze us with your brilliance again we get it lol *heart eyes*

    2 months ago
  • BlueOwl

    I can't express enough how much you love this!! I'm terrible with maths, but I do acknowledge it's beautiful beyond measure (Hypatia and Neoplatonism are to blame LOL, but well...). Unique and original piece!!

    2 months ago
  • Bookwitch

    Wow, this is amazing. I can think no words(partly because I'm having major writers block), but still

    2 months ago