agustdv

United Arab Emirates

[ a f r a h ]

far too nonchalant about things i should probably care about

Message from Writer

reviews pLeAsE. reviews without anything constructive are honestly a waste of your time, more than anything. be harsh or whatever when you critique me, but please do.

as for comments, they help a lot lol so if you drop a few, it would be highly appreciated.

i think growing up was a mistake

October 1, 2019

FREE WRITING

13


scrawny dreams in chalk dust
the blackboard smiles
and we, the size of a knee,
two hundred pennies
and gelatine capsules,
gummy bear vitamins
our mouths a licorice carbuncle
we terrorized our teachers
school is a second home
to  w r i n g  inside out;
our skins cried silently


bathed we are
cocaine penetrated follicles
"binge-drinkers" we proclaim proudly
this is a nightmare
a fluorescent adolescent
me and you and me in you
the pendulum wants to stop
and so do the vices cloaked
under an acceptable farce;
we call it rebellion
but we know it is too late
too sad
too little
sam smith's wailing voice
and us in a trance
we just stop sleeping;
shutters and eyelids rusting 
this is nihilism


poignant is our misery
and so we laugh
     and laugh
          and laugh
               and laugh 

 


hello hello hope you liked it :)

p.s stay safe kids and dont drink and drive

 

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  • October 1, 2019 - 12:34pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    ok wow that was powerful! good job! it sounded toxic, if that makes sense, i think it was an amazing effect! aND!!! the TITLE went REALLY WELL!!!!!!


    about 1 year ago
  • r|A|i|N

    holy shit how do you write so well tell me your secrets


    about 1 year ago
  • Dani A. Remlap

    "a fluorescent adolescent" this line alone got me. Damn.
    i adore this poem. the rhythm and internal rhyming. Feels like a ride that stopped being fun a long time ago, but you forgot how to get off


    about 1 year ago
  • BurningMidnightOil

    I love this piece; you’ve got high diction and lovely imagery. The metaphors are so, so fantastic. I also like the way you staggered the three lines of “and laughed”. Well done:)


    about 1 year ago