metropolitan melancholy

i think i understand being lonely
in a city full of ghosts
now, more than ever
the enchantment of gentle
murmurs on public transport
lovers whispering under their
breaths, metros whizzing past
a walk of shame and unmet 
deadlines
being older is appallingly sad

maybe i miss how things used to be;
faux romances and the diaspora of my
feelings, encased in moments of
interlocked fingers, languid gazes
a head full of illogical dreams.
and i know how i remember it
is so much more bewitching than
how it really was; eluding memories
grinning at me naughtily as i
scramble to gather the vestiges of
sunny days
my beaming smile
my ringing laugh
my shining eyes
i lived in the past too much

follies are a second nature;
staring at the abyss
the abyss staring at me
singing to the empty blue seats
of dubai's cold, lonely metro trains
the ravine is exhausted of embracing
despairing souls, silver linings ceasing
new moons mourning
summers aching
and i—
dying