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Message to Readers
give me the dirt of my piece, don't hold back
I think you tell your story beautifully and make your point very well. Your writing sounds very personal and the reader really feels like they know you.
I can really relate to this piece because my brother has scoliosis, and had to get spinal fusion to correct it. I'm very close to him, so I know how hard it can be. I really appreciate how honest you are, because your writing will probably encourage and help others who also have scoliosis.
It's nice how you have a sentence for the introduction and one for the conclusion, and I think the structure of your story is pretty good. Since this is all about human connections, maybe you could reflect more on how this relates to connections on a larger scale. I would love to hear more of your ideas about this topic!
I think you're saying that we should all value the connections we make with friends who truly care about us. I totally agree with you, because real friends can bring happiness to each other and change each other's lives.
You have amazing ideas, and you're a great writer! Your point about human connections is good, and I would just like to hear even more about how this relates to the bigger picture of humanity as a whole, if that makes any sense.
Good luck! :)