Peer Review by Starflower (United States)

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My Scoliosis Sister

By: Eden Lee

         A friendship started with a simple mistake, blossomed into a wonderful friendship.  But it started with the first day of 7th grade. I didn't really know anyone in my classes so to say I was nervous would be an understatement. We were in the 2nd period. Then I saw her. I saw who I thought at the time was an old classmate of mine so I waved. Little did I know this would be the start of a friendship that would change my life. 
         Later that day, in another class we had together, I make a bold move and decided to sit next to her. At this moment I realized that she wasn't the old classmate but at this point, it was too late. So I said “Hi!” and then we got to talking. I introduced myself and she followed, she said, “My name is Daniella, but you can call me Dan”(not her real name). 
         Now at this time, I had just had a falling out with a couple of friends, so I was pretty lonely and desperate. They weren't the nicest people and I didn't realize until I got out of that group. So I asked to sit with her at lunch and she said yes. That's how our friendship began. 
         At first, it was really awkward because she already had two other friends in her friend group but we got past it and we all because really close. Having sleepovers, going on road trips, and just enjoying each other's company. It was like I finally knew what true friends were like, they don't judge you or make fun of you, they make you laugh and would never make fun of you. I didn't want this time to end.
         Now one thing you should know about me is that I have scoliosis, which is the curvature of the spine, it occurs in about 1 in 40 people so you can imagine your surprise when she told me that she just got diagnosed with scoliosis. The fact that he both shared this disorder. 
         From this day on, I became her “Scoliosis Adviser” or so you could say. It ranged from be giving her tips, to me comforting her about having to get a brace.  I even gave her a recommendation for a doctor, and we ended up having the same doctor. We called each other our “Scoliosis Sister”. I loved all of it, especially helping her with the stuff no one taught me. I had no one to tell me these things so I had to learn them all by myself. But in a way, she helped me more than I helped her. Before I met Daniella, I had known no one with scoliosis, and that can feel really isolating, but then all of a sudden I had her. 
        As the weeks went by our friend group because larger, we had more friends, which was good. Though it also meant that we would grow farther apart, which we did. We still talk occasionally but not as much as we used to. I have grown a lot closer to some other people, but none of them compare to Dan I see now. They aren't as funny and kind-hearted as she is, truly.  But what I do know is that I'm going to change that. 
         Little did I know when I sat down next to her in that one class, that it would lead to a friendship that would change my life. Connections like these don’t come very often so I know that I need to do something about it, whether it be hanging out with her after school, or just texting her mire. You can’t let connections like this go, and I know this, because of Daniella. 

Message to Readers

give me the dirt of my piece, don't hold back

Peer Review

I think you tell your story beautifully and make your point very well. Your writing sounds very personal and the reader really feels like they know you.

I can really relate to this piece because my brother has scoliosis, and had to get spinal fusion to correct it. I'm very close to him, so I know how hard it can be. I really appreciate how honest you are, because your writing will probably encourage and help others who also have scoliosis.

It's nice how you have a sentence for the introduction and one for the conclusion, and I think the structure of your story is pretty good. Since this is all about human connections, maybe you could reflect more on how this relates to connections on a larger scale. I would love to hear more of your ideas about this topic!

I think you're saying that we should all value the connections we make with friends who truly care about us. I totally agree with you, because real friends can bring happiness to each other and change each other's lives.

You have amazing ideas, and you're a great writer! Your point about human connections is good, and I would just like to hear even more about how this relates to the bigger picture of humanity as a whole, if that makes any sense.

Reviewer Comments

Good luck! :)