Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
give me the dirt of my piece, don't hold back
I pull of it. Just enough unexpected to keep my attention, but not too much that the piece is disconnected. The details you chose to heighten your story, really work.
"I loved all of it, especially helping her with the stuff no one taught me. I had no one to tell me these things so I had to learn them all by myself. " I really feel that. It's sad, but hopeful and real and relatable.
I feel like you balanced telling the story without slowing down to break it down piece by piece and your thought process through it amazingly well.
Connections are powerful, connections are hard, connections are worth it.
Goodness, where do I start? You have a beautiful story, both in real life and how you've captured it in this essay here. You tell your story, show your feelings, and leave hope for the reader to share.
I wrote a lot in the comments, I hope that's okay/ enough. Please, don't feel like you have to take any of my suggestions :) Keep writing!