Peer Review by queerquotes (United States)

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shared bathroom

By: she’s-got-a-story


PROMPT: Sijo


while we four were roommates, we scattered hair, glitter, vomit, and blood
on tile fell our femininity and dignity at night
they never scrub out; i guess all the most womanly things are dirty 
 


Peer Review

Your second line break is beautiful. It is really hard to (Idk what you call it) make it flow, but also start a new thought. My favorite line is definietly "we scattered hair, glitter, vomit, and blood" because, I mean - WOW. You're really saying something.


I was left expectant? I wanted more! I saw dozens of stories flashing in my mind, but at the same time, only these words. I read it a bunch more times, I love this so much.


Reviewer Comments

I didn't expect the poem to end with "i guess all..." line. That doesn't mean it is bad! The fact that it stopped me a bit means it's a powerful line; unexpected. I thought I'd tell you so you can decide if you want it to be or not :) PS. I love the title, it's perfect (it's why I clicked the link!)