PouringOutTheSun

Ireland

“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.” -Madeline Miller, “The Song Of Achilles.”

#blacklivesmatter

Message to Readers

This piece feels a little dead to me! I don’t know if that’s just my mood at the moment; kind of grey and withdrawn, but this feels subdued. Feedback is appreciated !

We Could Be Friends If Your Bones Weren’t Luminous

September 8, 2019

FREE WRITING

6
“You’re all sharp angles and hate, aren’t you?” Neiryn spat and I felt something roil in my stomach because he sounded a little more venomous than usual. A little too exhausted to be anything less than sincere.

“I mean, you’ve got this look to you. Always a bit wild around the edges, eyebrows furrowed and mouth twisted up into something sharp.”

I touch my hand to my lips distractedly and listen on as Neiryn throws himself bonelessly into a chair and sighs

“Your eyes, it’s so often that they’re cold.” He rubs his temples. “The silver against the black? They look like frozen stars, ready to explode and take the world with them.”

Maybe he’s right, stars always were his forte.

He turns to stare at me and the look on his face, it’s pain. “And gods above us, Oran,” his voice has lost some of it’s heat, “the sight of you? So much of your wraithery seems to disregard your sharp edges. Black smoke curls out from your corners, in an attempt at softening you. You wouldn’t have happened to have crawled out of the ground when you were born? No?”

Later on, I will glance in the mirror while the rest of the room is in half light. Suddenly and viscerally I will know what he means. My bones will glow white and my silhouette will grow fuzzy. I’ll fade away a little in favor of filling the silent room with a few more whispers.

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  • September 8, 2019 - 12:31pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • rainandsonder

    that opening line! r|A|iN said it best; your writing seems to get what language can and should be used for, and your words not only paint a mental image but usher you right into the scene of your mind's eye. fantastic work!


    almost 1 year ago
  • r|A|i|N

    the thing i most love about your writing is the interesting and quirky way you craft sentences - each one is fascinatingly unpredictable. i love phrases such as "suddenly and viscerally i will know what he means" and "throws himself bonelessly into a chair". you have a really unique take on the english language in general - it's something to be prized.
    one thing i would recommend doing is reading this over, perhaps aloud. you have a few missing periods and things that need replacing, and a few points that could use more explanation. overall, though, i'm really captivated by this piece. the title drew me in and i wasn't disappointed. well done!


    about 1 year ago