Peer Review by april.lila (Australia)

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you ask me why #sixlittlestories

By: Blotted Ink with a Broken Quill


FREE WRITING


you ask me why i'm insane?

well, if being insane means birdwatching,

 or meditating with my eyes open,

or painting canvas with jet fuel

and seeing beauty in artificial sunset,

then yes, I am quite insane


you ask me why i'm different?

well, if being different means loving,

or saying I love you back

to someone who you've just met  

by campfire light dancing across faces

well then of course, I'm different


you ask me why i'm crying?

well if crying means letting go

or seeing a rainbow behind tears

and retreating until you find yourself

in worlds that are yours alone

well, that's probably why I'm crying


you ask me why i'm smiling

well if smiling means saying goodbye

or masked facade to hide behind

maybe the residue from a joke

or the warm embrace of care

well then that's why I'm smiling


you asked me (at my bedside, paved with emotion) why I'm dying

i took your hand in mine

and told you i was insane

i told you i was different

told you i was in love

and i told you i smiled

maybe just enough for one lifetime





 


Peer Review

The parts about smiling and crying were so well thought-out and very relatable.


I think it would be interesting to know why exactly the person in the story is dying. You could even have written a whole poem about just one of these topics, they're a subtopic within themselves!


Reviewer Comments

Great use of words. A really nice, short, touching read. :)