Peer Review by L3X∅L∅TL (United States)

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Déjà vu

By: moonchild.


FREE WRITING

Do You remember the first glance?
Do You remember how we looked away?
Do You remember how we tried our chance?
But the first attempt was a fail anyway.

Do You remember that last year of middle school?
Do You remember those unfiltered talks over the phone?
Do You remember, to the world, we were fools?
Tried a break, believing it to make us hone.

Do You remember how You always demanded the last minute?
Do You remember the letter glued to Your birthday present?
Do You remember the gestures which always melted my heart?
Oh, did You preserve the letter till present?

Do You remember how we departed, on a happy note?
Do You remember the promises You made?
Do You remember they way two years did float?
Well, call it destiny which returned You to my shade.

Do You remember the euphoria in our lives?
Do You remember how we danced the night?
Do You remember the unleashing of secrets in years?
We had our time, reliving the amateur years.

Do You remember when we did learn that puberty hit hard?
Do You remember how I was so new to You?
Do You remember the evening which again ordered to depart?
Déjà vu. If its meant to be, it finds a way. Just not me and You.

This is my very first poetry and is straight from the heart for someone who was was once a beloved. Let me know you can relate!
I'll be happy to consider reviews/critics :)

Peer Review

The entire piece is amazing, I can see and feel everything, the repitition of 'Do you remember-' is beautiful


Everything is so clearly explained, I have nothing to add, nothing to make it better.


Reviewer Comments

I like the title and rhyming is hard so good job on being persistent with it.