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Message to Readers
this is my all time favorite piece i have written on wtw, i had originally written it in second point of view. i tried to turn it into first person, but there were still mistakes left. this is the edited version, enjoy.
This piece, set 2000 years in the future. I love the narration throughout this, the way her morning pans out, the way even her waking up is described. Just beautiful.
'I grimace at the perfectly written handwriting, longing for mom's perfect, but imperfect handwriting.'
This is my favourite line out of this piece. The robot, it's perfect, it never gets anything wrong but the mum, its human and Alex's wishes form mum's perfection, not just a recorded message
I do like the ending that you currently have but just as this piece is so amazing, I believe you should extend on this last sentence. Instead of making it just one sentence, create a paragraph, show more of how she feels, her actions, her emotions. Just a thought :)
Thank you for writing this piece, I thoroughly enjoyed reading and reviewing it! I hope you find my feedback useful, but do remember its only my opinion, some parts of where I believe could be improved, you may disagree with it and that’s totally fine!