Peer Review by Hailey Duggirala (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Imagine This

By: Lilly.VB


PROMPT: Imagine This

Imagine this.
A young boy born in Medan, Indonesia.
His Mother dies when he is just five years old.
His father moves him to Holland and he grows to become a engineering student at Delft University.
At just seventeen years old he is taken by the Germans to design planes for the Nazis.
During a bombing raid he escapes and gets a train back to Holland. 
His Father is told there are no survivors. 
He hides in a basement of a  church terrified to be caught again.
He meets a girl who brings him food everyday, they fall in love.
Once the war is over the boy walks back to his home town to tell his Father he's alive.
He then treks back to the girl's town and they get married, they have many children and grandchildren. 
The youngest of those grandchildren writes their story.
Imagine that.


Peer Review

The tale is very "Wrong place wrong time". The boy moves to Holland as a child, only to later build planes for the Nazis; A bomb raid gives him opportunity to escape, but reason for his father to believe him dead. I think there is an overwhelming idea of fate and of circumstance that tie together well in this piece.


I think something could have been done sensory wise in my first highlight-perhaps describing the raids?


Reviewer Comments

I assume you are the Grandchild writing this story? It truly is incredible, and I love your tone that speaks nothing to the speculation. There is always something striking about a story told purely in facts, in the detail so many people writing the story would have looked over. YOu opted for the more honest approach and I adore it.