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The reality of the writing. It's very real.
You should deepen the passion and affection, love, as it's called so that the reader understands the gravity of the pain. Write about how their heart splits into pieces and how they can feel those shards splintering and hitting them, imagine how the pain feels and write the pain.
you have a good grasp of writing the reality of a situation. I think by perceiving how things feel and making the writing more sensory and imaginative so that the reader can relate to it.