Peer Review by Victoria Martin (Canada)

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Excerpt #5

By: ashdeanmanns


FREE WRITING

Humanity had always been so much more than it was cut out to be, but it never fully lived up to its potential. Humanity was old and dusty, but underneath it shone like the prestigious Heavens. For every one step forward, there were two steps back. In the reality of the people who would live for less than a century, humanity was not all it was cut out to be. Humanity made redundant decisions, like the lights above him that cast harshly into his eyes, that glazed the warm bodies around him in happy and mournful colors, made them look ethereal. He and humanity were blinded.


Peer Review

The truth in what you are discussing and how you write about it.


I definitely think you could develop this piece further and expand on the ideas/topics mentioned within the piece.


Reviewer Comments

Read you bio and totally relate with trying to make a life out of writing. Seems impossible but I think it's worth it. Best of luck in your pursuits to do so :)