RenMarie02

United States

What a Farm Boy Lays Down in a Field (October, 1943)

August 16, 2019

    The barn’s backbone wails when something’s wrong.
Lou said that just now, once the beams started creaking. The rafters are grinding. Straw’s stirring over floorboards. 
    It was wailing the time she caught her foot on a grain bag and pitched forward and landed on a nail come loose. It went through her palm like a worm through an apple.
 It wailed when Daddy found his dog waterlogged with flies in her belly. When he left the farm last June. And it’s wailing now, as the telegram boy passes us, going up to the porch, biting his lip.

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  • August 16, 2019 - 10:14am (Now Viewing)

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9 Comments
  • Paisley Blue

    This is amazing! I love how you can convey such worry and unrest in such a short piece. Nice job!


    about 1 year ago
  • Kepler

    Wow. That's heckin' awesome. I liked how you used words that fit the setting... I hope that makes sense.


    about 2 years ago
  • Purple Kitty 2001

    So much emotion, so much happening in these few sentences. Keep writing!


    about 2 years ago
  • Cornflower Burst

    Great job, RenMarie02!!!!!!!!!!!
    You totally deserved it!!!!!!!!


    about 2 years ago
  • Kess

    This is amazing! It's incredibly powerful for something so short. Congrats on winning!!


    about 2 years ago
  • New York_dreamer

    Congrats on the win!!!! You deserved it! :)


    about 2 years ago
  • celestialbard

    Honestly such a haunting piece!!! Well done :)


    about 2 years ago
  • Cxtrus

    Congrats you won!


    about 2 years ago
  • parachutes_the_idiot

    Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thispiece is the shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Freaking fantastic job :DD


    about 2 years ago