Peer Review by The Wiggler (United States)

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The Abuser

By: saf22


“YOU. ARE. USELESS.” James was on his couch, listening to words being hurled at him like steely knives. “YOU. ARE. NOTHING!” Then came the blow. WHAP. Fist colliding with flesh. James felt a stinging sensation. James said nothing; he knew his abuser wouldn’t listen. “YOU. ARE. PATHETIC!” The blows came rapid fire. WHAP. James knew they might never end; he was powerless to their attacks. Suddenly, the turning of a key could be heard. James’s mother. “Hey bud!” James and his abuser turned to greet his mother. “Hey, mom,'' cried James. His mother turned to see James, sitting alone.


Peer Review

The title! I think it's a strong one.


I think the last sentence hits hard? As in, I honestly think it hits even harder because while the early parts of it are brutal, the last sentence just throws a wrench into the whole thing.


Mm, I don't think so.


This is a really strong draft!! Keep up the good work!


Reviewer Comments

- My current theory for this is that James' abuser is actually his own self-hatred? As in, this is his subconscious saying everything he thinks about himself, then manifesting into what I think are hallucinations.