Peer Review by Victoria Martin (Canada)

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Henley Rimmer

By: Therese_Lynn


I was always told to have more self control. It's something that I've always forgotten. But, she was standing right outside that door when I felt revenge surge through my veins. I concentrated on the window and her hair. 
Window. 
Hair. 
Her eyes became wide with confusion as the glass shattered and spread across the tiled floor. Regret swallowed me whole the moment I saw her cowering, with her bleeding hands covering her head.
The window was repaired, but It always act as a reminder. A reminder, that self control is what stops the demons from possessing me
 


Message to Readers

Any feedback will be great!


Peer Review

When you describe the girl behing the window.


In the line it's something I've always forgotten.


The demons possessing me part. Although it is a good analogy if left to interpretation this piece could be taken in a very diffrent direction. Also try to avoid this cliche.


Read this out loud, really loud. See if you like the rhythm,how certain descriptions sound etc.


Reviewer Comments

This was a really interesting piece and story. I wish you the best of luck for the competition:)