Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Any feedback will be great!
When you describe the girl behing the window.
In the line it's something I've always forgotten.
The demons possessing me part. Although it is a good analogy if left to interpretation this piece could be taken in a very diffrent direction. Also try to avoid this cliche.
Read this out loud, really loud. See if you like the rhythm,how certain descriptions sound etc.
This was a really interesting piece and story. I wish you the best of luck for the competition:)