Peer Review by Victoria Martin (Canada)

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Focus

By: Josh Devine


Josh’s eyes narrowed in concentration and his brow furrowed as he focused on the task at hand. He was acutely aware of the sun on the back of his neck as a bead of sweat ran down his cheek. You could almost hear his brain changing gears, into overdrive. The muscles in his arms began to twitch, strain etched across his face as he struggled to maintain concentration. His breathe caught in his throat, maybe if he held his breathe he’d maintain focus. Why do ideas for stories become more elusive the more you try to think of one.


Peer Review

The title quite honestly I have trouble focusing so I was thinking maybe this person will reveal the secret to focus. I was mistaken.


The slight misdirection within the story. I thought aome intense test or something was going on.


Nope you are clear and concise:)


Get a friend to read this to you. Personally I hate doing this but it helps because you hear how someone else reads your work.


Reviewer Comments

I really like this piece, it is something that I relate to 100% and I think you accurately described 80% of the writing process. Thank you for writing and good luck on the competition:)