Peer Review by The Wiggler (United States of America)()

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Blue.

By: annaocxo


FREE WRITING

What is it you try to say to me? Why do you try to break me down? Can you not see that I have risen from the ashes many times before? Is the soot on my dress not a significant reminder? My thoughts were mine before you but now you have kidnapped them. I wanted to hold them close but they were stolen from my grasp. Why must you leave me this way? I can see no hope in my eyes when I look in the mirror. It was once there in abundance but now all I can see is the endless blue of yesterday. 


Peer Review

"I can see no hope in my eyes when I look into the mirror." I"m a sucker for mirror-based quotes, and there's something about this that's really satisfying for me.


Hm...Maybe a bit of context as to who this person is that the narrator is talking about? I assume they're some sort of ex, honestly, but I can't be sure...


Reviewer Comments

- This feels like something someone would write a song about!
- It's a nitpick, but I'm not sure how the title relates to the rest of the piece.
- I'm someone who relies on commas to read for breaks or else I can't get into the flow of the sentence properly, so that's why I was picky about the commas! There are definitely times when commas aren't 100% necessary, but I do badly without them because of reading flow, so I hope that wasn't irritating to hear.