Peer Review by Victoria Martin (Canada)

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Goodbye

By: Emma16


FREE WRITING

I’ve already wasted
So much time 
So many pages on you
So I’ll keep this one short.

Years ago,
When I had youth in abundance 
But my wisdom was in short supply,
I fell for you.

So I played your games
Ran your marathon
Even though in my whole life
I had never ran more than twenty feet.

For days, I matched my steps
To yours
Using up all my smiles
Trying to put one
On your face.

Oh, dear me
I was just a little girl
Who tried to use a shovel
To dig a canyon.
But for all the sweaty afternoons
And pained grunts
The only thing I dug
Was a hole in my heart.

Now, with the gift of abundant aftersight
I feel stupid
Looking over all my plans
And wondering at which stage
I let my reason go. 

I pick at the calluses on my fingers
Trying to get rid of them
Because they remind me of you. 
In fact, I try to erase 
All of me;
I hate the person 
Who fell for you. 

But you 
Are not worth
Hating myself over.
You aren’t worth anything
Except 
Maybe my forgiveness. 


Peer Review

Ok so first off this piece is so quotable, Iove the message and your concise style of writing.


I'd say that like with most pieces dealing with romance avoid cliches, that is about it though.


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