Peer Review by Moved account to Buniko (United States)

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He’s crazy for her

By: Destbrat


The girl next door made him crazy. Despite
her not not even being aware of his existence, it was her beautiful ignorance that made him desire her even more.

Her laugh was more addictive than any drug on the market. Her cheeks rosy and warm in even the coldest of rooms. Her hair always gorgeously bouncy, even while she slept. Her skin felt angelically smooth. She breathed softly and quietly, her lips sealed. He stood over her, brushing his hand over her unconscious body. Her scream made him absolutely euphoric.

Sitting in his cell he longed for her.

 

always open to feedback! <3 will review wherever reviews mine :)

Message to Readers

Hope you enjoy!


Peer Review

I was glancing over some of the flash fiction published and the sentence "Her laugh was more addictive than any drug on the market" caught my eye and drew me in to read the entire thing


You did this when you described the girl the guy is obsessed with.


Nope, there was a clear beginning, middle, and end


THIS WAS GREAT KEEP IT UP! >W


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