To whom this concerns, I am not alive anymore. The last thing I saw before they pulled the black bag over my face was the face of my beloved. His face looked stoic as ever, but he was truly sad to see that we would never see our wedding day or the look of our child that was growing inside of me. After the bag was pulled I started to see my life flash before my eyes….
The first memory I see was when my brothers were going off for their SS class test. They were the youngest to go on this mission. Only my youngest brother survived, just to kill himself a few weeks later after the death of his beloved. It was just my parents, my younger sister, and myself for a while. Then my younger sister left for her A class first rank mission and didn’t come back. I went on my first S-class mission just after her and when I came back, my parents had hung themselves in the middle of their bedroom. To this day, I haven’t gone into the rooms of my dead family members.
Next is when I first met my team. We were all young and just starting out in D class 3rd rank. Most of the class hated me because I was moved to D1 on the first day. Ever since then I have rapidly moved up through the ranks. There were only two others that managed to keep up with me. One would later become my best friend and the other, my beloved. We were inseparable up until this current mission. This mission wasn’t meant for us, it was meant for the higher ups.
This next memory isn’t a pleasant one. It is of the only fight I ever got in with my beloved. He wanted us to wait on telling his parents. I brought up the point that it would be beneficial for all parties if we told him. That’s when he told me one of my biggest flaws. I had become an unfeeling humanoid. That’s when I screamed at him that when feelings get involved when they shouldn’t, people end up hurt or worse. He stared at me for a while and realized, I had just brought up my family and all of the friends we have lost due to missions gone wrong. He steps back and falls into the chair. I walk over to him as I tell him it’s how our lives are going to have to be. I had just gotten my corset and him his straps. We were official marksmen now. Many don’t make it this far. It’s only because of our determination that we have made it.
As I start to wind down on my short life, on memory sticks out more than the rest. It was the day my beloved asked me to become his wife. Many of the marksmen who are alive marry quite young. My parents were 24 and 22 when they married. For us, it was better to have a shorter love than a lifetime without it. My best friend had just married his beloved before we went on this mission. She will never know the extent of his love, only his bravery, and loyalty to his duty. I wish she could have seen him just one more time. He was shot just before I was brought up to the post.
Now is when I say goodbye. To this world and to my friends who still live on this earth; I say goodbye. To my best friend, Jason, and my family; Mary, Mom, Dad, Jim, Jake, and Justin; I say wait just a little longer and I will soon join you. To my beloved, Alex, don’t keep me waiting too long. I close my eyes and wait for the familiar sound of a gunshot to bring me back to my family.