In nearly all of the world's typical teenager movies, the age range of thirteen to eighteen seems so fun and rebellious in such entertaining ways. Even adults, and often older children, stereotype us. Everyone thinks that we go to wild parties every Friday night and drink stolen booze, sneak back into the house, staggering drunk, at three in the morning and end up with disgusting hangovers the day after. That we girls wear loads of makeup and dress up for school. Yes, some teenagers do those sorts of reckless, irresponsible, and fun things. We're not all like that though.
I'm an introvert. I eat lunch alone but it's not because I'm a loner or anything of such resemblance. I like to eat alone; I don't have to worry about keeping up a conversation and managing to eat all my food in the short amount of time given. It does get depressing and sometimes boring to not have anyone to talk to at times. For some reason I keep thinking that I don't have any friends when, really, I just have two, or maybe three. I must admit to one thing although: I'm jealous; I'm jealous of those girls who younger kids would call "popular"; the girls who have a lot of friends who they constantly hang out with, the girls who get invited to parties and have to sneak back into the house without getting caught, the girls who like to talk and are always flirting with guys, and, overall, the girls who seem to be the perfect teenagers.
So much pressure is put on us; the teens who feel just like I. It seems as though my parents had more fun in high school than me. I remember being fully submitted to the idealism of being a girl in high school; all those movies I've seen about girls having lots of friends and having sleepovers all the time. It made me expect so much of being a teenager. So when I began my first year of high school I could feel disappointment spreading through my body the very second I reverted to my unsocial self and hid behind my shield of introversion. My "social status" was on the polar opposite of "popularity" and I hurt myself emotionally at times, scapegoating myself for where I am now.
I've overheard several conversations over my time at school. Of them, those said between the social girls with many friends were often those that caused me to admire them and, at the same time, uprose a twinge of certain jealousy hidden away within me. Topics varied but most were all matching the teenager stereotype; some girls made out with all of their guy friends, some had already had sex at the age of fifteen, some got high in between classes with a friend, and some have been on dates with way older guys. The jealousy I try to store away keeps surfacing; the jealousy that drives me insane sometimes and makes me crave drama, bizarre events, and gossip in my life. I admire the girls who can do what they do yet I wish constantly that I could be "one of them" for at least a day.
Fourteen going on fifteen is a huge and small, brave and scary number that is often violently stereotyped, pressurized, and expected much of. Not only is the unwanted reality suppressed in a box and stored away on the top shelf making you jump and climb in immense efforts trying to reach it, the box is prettied in bows and glitter and false positivity and admiration. It makes you want to crave the box more and more, to be what's in the box; the "ideal" fourteen going on fifteen.
I'm an introvert.
The tie in of the social atmosphere. Great detail if you were to expand you could put more about things that change from fourteen to fifteen.