Peer Review by Harlow (United States)

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Hair cut

By: HeyThereRose


FREE WRITING

Slice. Rasp. Shudder. My hands shake. Don’t stop till the floor is littered with hair. My reflection recoils. My new fringe cuts across my forehead like a scar, and beneath it my eyes are visible. Too visible. They have seen too much. Scissors fall and clang against the floor like a plague bell, calling ‘bring out your dead’. But there is no coffin yet designed for a heart, nor soul.

Later I trim my fringe till it’s presentable. That’s all that matters. Nobody else will meet my eyes, those eyes, looking at me beseechingly from beneath my brunette scar.


Message to Readers

Possible entry for flash fiction competition, please review!


Peer Review

The fear that I felt for the narrator means that your piece uses great imagery and allowed me to empathize well. Honestly, I crave that when I read. Great Job!


See comments. I explained that I found your last few sentences in the first paragraph unclear.


Reviewer Comments

Consider italicizing the first three words and the line "They have seen too much" for dramatic effect. Great piece! I really think you should enter it to the competition.