Peer Review by Sarah Trieu (United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland)()

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One, Two, Three

By: Cas Bradley


    One, two, three, bang. She counts on her fingers, then her toes. One, two, three, scream. She stays still behind her teacher’s fallen body.
    Farther, now, it continues: One, two, three, bang. One, two-sirens cut through her counting. One, two, three men help clean her of her teacher’s blood.
    At the hospital, they remove one, two, three fragments. She goes to therapy, but still she counts. One, two, three—constantly.
    Her life follows the rule of threes: elementary, middle, high. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Birth, life, death. She knows numbers can’t stop bullets, but still she counts, and still, she hopes. 


Message to Readers

Let me know:
1) If I missed or need to correct any punctuation (specifically, commas and em/en dashes or hyphens)
2) If you find any grammar or spelling errors
3) Your thoughts on the piece and the message
4) If anything is unclear or needs to be edited
Thanks!


Peer Review

The regularity of the title - whilst it is a unique title, it is, as words, used often.


We know that there is something 'wrong' with the protagonist due to her repetition of the numbers, as if she is stuck in a cycle. There is also the reference to her teacher, which could be alluding to school shootings (and if it is, then well done, because you have planted the idea of what's happening without full explanation).


Nowhere in particular.


This is a really fantastic story with a powerful message that highlights the effects of school shootings. The repetition helps further this, as it shows how trapped it makes victims feel. You have written a wonderful piece and you should be proud of yourself! Well done.


Reviewer Comments

Make sure to consider word choices, as each word can paint an entirely new picture. Other than that, you have used lots of fantastic language devices and have written wonderfully.