Peer Review by Mia Lamont (Australia)

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Gravité

By: she’s-got-a-story



Martin from French IV stands like a stalactite. Why are we on the ceiling of my old bedroom? The last time I saw him or that house was sophomore year, but we're here, right-side-down and together, just left of the ceiling fan. 
"Are you St. Peter?" 
"I'm afraid of heights."
This isn't height; it's descent. I'm sure, now. Soon the room will start to melt upwards, and I will wake in sterility sans Martin. Unless those purple-curtained windows really are the Gates. 
"Martin, If I jump out, will I fall up or down?"
"Down, into the sky."


Peer Review

The wording mainly. It sounds really sophisticated.


'Down, into the sky' - the way you use this statement so simply makes it intriguing.


'The last time I saw him' ... 'the ceiling fan'. I thought this sentence as maybe a tad long. Perhaps cut it at 'but now we're here'


This is so cool. The way you've written everything and the fact that you're talking about something so fantastical in such a simple way is really cool.


Reviewer Comments

I really wanna read more....