Peer Review by Destbrat (United States)

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The Thunderous Fall

By: Kayla Vanderpool


In the forest where trees fell silently, all was quiet. The birds' enigmatic melodies were muted, their beaks spilling deaf notes into the silent air; the trees and their blackened leaves were as clamorous as a garden of statues. Pure, unmitigated silence was the only sound that forest had ever known.
One evening, a tree weary with age shuddered with pain and, with a start, toppled towards the dark ground, prepared to die a silent death. The second the worn bark met the ground, however, a tumultuous crash thundered throughout the entirety of the forest, breaking the eternal silence...

 


Message to Readers

I'm open to all feedback :)


Peer Review

By the first sentence you’re already introduced into this calm nature filled environment, and it’s followed up by impressive amounts of figurative language that draws you in deeper and deeper into this silent forest.


Why is this forest so silent? Is there any immediate reaction to the breaking of this silence? The writer keeps the reader questioning multiple times successfully throughout the writing.


Maybe more into depth on why this forest is so silent, unless their is a intentional reason for this then everything is said.


You have a great story going for you, best of luck!


Reviewer Comments

Your use of figurative language is great, it really adds to the scene.