Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Do you know what well known topic/event I am referencing?
Probably the fact that it started with a date. You don't see that very often and so it grabbed my attention.
I think this was done quite successfully. I mean, what's in the room? Who are the runners? Why are they storming the base? Whose base is it? Where did the storm come from?
Ya, 100% here! :)
I keep trying to find something, but actually I think it's fine.
This story is great and I am sure you can write other great stories. Just, keep at it, really. Well done!