Peer Review by The Dreamer (South Africa)()

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The Naruto

By: ♛DaBolo♛


 September 20
 
The guards stood there, waiting for the storm. As more time passed, the guards began to think it was a false alarm. "No storm today," one of the guards said. Another guard laughed. "Hopefully not" a worker said. Then suddenly the storm came. The guards panicked and began to shoot at the storm. All the bullets missed the runners. The runners stormed the base. They ran to a small, room. A guard smirked, "Naruto." Suddenly, before anybody saw anything, the room filled with smoke. What was in that room was and still is a great big mystery.       

BTW If you review my peice I would review one of yours. Thank you for reading.

Message to Readers

Do you know what well known topic/event I am referencing?


Peer Review

Probably the fact that it started with a date. You don't see that very often and so it grabbed my attention.


I think this was done quite successfully. I mean, what's in the room? Who are the runners? Why are they storming the base? Whose base is it? Where did the storm come from?
Ya, 100% here! :)


I keep trying to find something, but actually I think it's fine.


This story is great and I am sure you can write other great stories. Just, keep at it, really. Well done!


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