Peer Review by The Dreamer (South Africa)

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Last Hope

By: Sarah Trieu

War had torn apart our world - where the vicious fires did not scorch the dwindling trees, the people, sick with fear, waged fights over the most trivial things. Where the grand, historical buildings did not crumble, the corrupt governments ordered for the most atrocious acts.

And where hatred did not plague, there was us.

In our last moments, we withheld desperate tears and held hands tightly, smiling, as if we could keep each other safe.

And you said to me, "Maybe one day, we'll be reincarnated and live a happier life together."

Message to Readers

I hope you enjoy reading this!

Peer Review

The title and that first little phrase, " War had torn our world apart" got me interested.

I think this was accomplished in that seco d paragraph, " And where hatred did not plague, there was us". This "us" is never explained neither is the "you" in the last sentence - and it doesn't have to be but it gets my imagination going. I love stories that let me create and add on to.

No, I think you actually did a really good job of explaining everything that was necessary in your limited word count.

I really enjoyed this story but I think it could be improved. If you add a few personal touches, like " where the historical buildings, once sacred to us," or some such detail that connects the narrator to this crumbling world.

Reviewer Comments

Well done! This was a lovely story and an absolute pleasure to read. :)