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New York_dreamer

United States

Christian
Actress
Singer
Writer
Theater/Broadway geek
Dreamer
15 years old
New York lover (city girl)
Hopeless romantic
Thrill seeker
Daughter of Ares
Slytherin (I'm still nice!)
Empathetic
Cat lover
Survivor of hurtful events

Message to Readers

any feedback is welcomed and appreciated! :)

Dreaming Of A Sunny Day

August 11, 2019

FREE WRITING

3
o I even have to be here
eminded of my past?
verybody laughs around me, and I’m 
mid the happy faces, but I’m the one who’s down.
inding my own business, drawing the day away 
’ll just wear my hood and maybe they won’t notice the lurking pain within.
o one cares, it really hurts
ood days have faded away.

f all the days I lived when the sun shone, my mind was too
ar and all I could see was rain.

faint sensation kept me going, but I was on the ground.

uffering without a voice to be seen; no one to hear my call,
nderestimating the choking room I’m in.
either rhyme nor reason could wake me up from the 
atural disaster I slept in. I’m
elling, yearning but no voice is coming out...

reams and nightmares engulf me with heat
nd tell me I can’t make it out of
outh with no sun.
I feel like this need work, how can I edit this? Thank you to all of those who reviewed my works over the past few weeks! :)

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1 Comment
  • AbigailSauble

    Beautiful job! This would be very hard, but you nailed it! There are a few editing suggestions like in 'Y' of 'SUNNY', taking out the yelling, putting yearning there inside and replacing yearning with a vocal word. Yelling doesn't quite fit. =)
    In the last line, I would combine 'with' and 'no' to make 'without'. It would flow better.
    Beautiful job! =) God bless!


    12 days ago