ghostlyglory

United States of America

Message to Readers

hello feedback=very nice

this night

August 3, 2019

FREE WRITING

10

on this night I am not dreaming. eyes closed,
nothing moves but my heart; this is when
I am here too clearly and the bed just softly. 

light streams in black. you come to me in the dreams,
never predicting I’d see in any-colors. 
I was born at your feet purple as the day, and mostly I grey 

in the mirror like you, unmoving, black-eyes, angry. 
tonight I lift. you don’t like when I sleep-walk
but you are the one that likes to talk 

like a church sermon, a half-written gospel, 
a bloody rite of teenage passage, a promise un-promised and 
I like to pray to you, lick the feet of a god, drown in a shadow. 

me, half-dreaming: my hands clasped, 
and wrested into this pillow like 
I found your comfort in suffocation and cotton. it has been dark:

the half-moons are marked, and felt, and not seen. I have seen nothing, 
no color I can reach. tonight I am more than slotted into the blue. 
I am not dreaming; I lift; 

I am clear-headed. I am loud-hearted. 
I am freer than your sun. 
you don’t have to ask questions. 

I am 
giving you the answers. 
in my dark it’s so easy to tell you

I am through. I am noon.




 

Print

See History
  • August 3, 2019 - 4:38pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

4 Comments
  • rainandsonder

    i love the writing style of this, like black and white photos, like waking up at 5 AM when the world is asleep. it’s simply beautiful.


    3 months ago
  • weirdo

    this is so beautiful. that third stanza just...i can’t even describe how i feel about it because my words aren’t working today but it’s so amazing.


    3 months ago
  • Anha

    welcome back!! i've thoroughly missed seeing your content, your overarching concepts and the incredible ways you manage to make them apply to the human entity - brilliant. the fourth stanza of this poem really stands out to me, especially the lines, "like a church sermon, a half-written gospel, / a bloody rite of teenage passage..." it's visceral and otherworldly, like stepping through a pool of wine and emerging out the other side to find a world where all things are unfinished and progressing. the juxtaposition between "i am not dreaming" and "you come to me in dreams" really promotes a sense of longing, but seems a bit fast for the pace of the poem - may i suggest swapping around some stanzas so that the contrast is more visually and verbally appealing? (i'm not great at giving actual feedback, just compliments, so maybe it's not even an issue, idk.) love your work!!


    4 months ago
  • artificialaorta

    I missed seeing your writing on the dashboard while i was gone. This is somber and desperate and holy all condensed in one beautiful harmony. I don’t really have enough knowledge of poetry to properly praise this for what it’s worth, but even i know it’s something terrifyingly beautiful.
    Thank you for sharing!


    4 months ago