The Inspiration

United States

STARTED WRITING WHEN I WAS 9 YEARS
WRITING OPENED ME UP IN LIFE AND LOVE
let life take u and rise above all
I am 13 now
''Difficult roads often lead u to beautiful destinations''

Message to Readers

This a story about a girl that loved a maple tree. Comment down what you think the maple tree represents.

Under the Maple tree

August 1, 2019

FREE WRITING

1
    There was a tree that stood in front of my house. It was a maple tree. I remember staring at it through my window wondering if it would ever fall. It was beautiful in Autumn. It had orange and red leaves. Sometimes I'll pick out a leaf and put it in my pocket for good luck. It's silly thinking about, but I mean it when I say it gives good luck. I received a hundred percent on my math test and I didn't even study. The next week  I ask my mama if I can take some of it sweet maple sap. My mama always told me "no" because it wasn't our tree. One day I was curious. There was a bucket collecting the sap as it dripped. I didn't know who kept it there or who even owned the tree. "Just one dip," I said to myself. I dipped my hand in the bucket of sap and placed it in my mouth. it felt like heaven just touched my tongue. Suddenly I heard a man yell. "hey, what the do you think your doing gurl!" He was a tall white man with a flat hat. He had overall on and I saw him have a holster. I didn't see a gun. Before he could get any closer I ran by to my house. I promised myself never to go to that maple tree again. I realize I couldn't. OIt was so attractive. Every time I was upset I ran under the maple tree. It was where I felt the safest. I understand it was selfish of me, but I loved that maple tree. the maple tree's leaves covered me from the shade and rain. Sometimes from the cruel world. 
    I woke up the one day from people shouting and saws being used. I looked at the window. A lot of men surround the maple tree. I ran outside and saw my mama. She said the sap has gone bad. They want to cut the tree. Hearing that broke my heart. I started to feel dizzy. I went towards the men and said "you shouldn't cut this tree because it is mine." I stood in front of them. " I will never leave this tree. it is my life, if you cut this tree down, you cut me down." My mama pushed me aside. I cried and pleaded. They still cut it down. There was only a stump left.  I still sat on the stump, but there was nothing to cover me and shelter me. The reason why I wrote this to you my son is that when I'm gone, I want to be buried... Not near the cut tree, under, under the maple tree. 


                                                                                                                                LOVE YOUR MOTHER, Maple 

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  • August 1, 2019 - 7:18pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • artificialaorta

    Hey! This is a clever, original story. I love the simplicity of the storyline - kind of reminds me of a fairy tale!
    However, I think you can improve it to make it the very, very best it can be. Take a look at how your sentences start - you'll see a very clear pattern. Repetition is fine when it's used deliberately, to present imagery about things not moving, or cycling, or to show something continuous. Think about how you can change your sentence structure to create a bigger impact on your audience, and improve the fluidity of your story. Punctuation will help you - connect sentences with ',' , ';' , ':' , '-' - or even connective words ('and', 'but', 'however').
    You have strong points though - your story is creative and beautiful, as well as full of great symbolism. Your ending is great, just vague enough to let the reader reflect about the meaning of it.
    Keep working on this and it'll be great. Good luck writing, and thanks for sharing!


    about 1 year ago