artificialaorta

Canada

[intp + 18 + they/them]
a gotdamn disaster

Message to Readers

karmic rewards for those who comment

#imagineit || about unlove

August 1, 2019

FREE WRITING

5

In the middle of a forest, in the middle of the woods, once I cut my finger and pain oozed.
It'd been a stray thorn; in the middle of a forest of greens, browns, I painted my red too.
Beetles, ants, and fruits drank up my colour and I saw myself in them, made from the same.
You were in there, in the middle of the woods: remember the way you pricked your finger?
You said, Don't worry, don't cry - this place is more beautiful with a piece of you.
Deliberate, your index found that same wooden needle, and there you signed your first forever.
Forever's a long time, babe; I knew even then, in the middle our forest.
Forever's difficult to chew through grinded teeth, to write with thorn-prickled-fingers.
Sowed my doubts in a smile; wore the word by my throat.
(No spare thought goes to keepsakes if you do it right).
Forever gets easier to say when you've said it before.
A practiced patchwork of three syllables turned industrial, polyester.
Buy forever's from my own tongue, throat, lips.
Buy your forever's before they run out.
I'll bet if we went back,
those woods would be redder;
stitched intravenously with forever's 
shaped by both
our letterings
forevermore.





 
unusual topic for me but i had fun doing this! things i learned with this exercise: my regular sentences are stupidly long (how many commas do i really need? why is a single sentence six lines long? why do i love semicolons so much? we just don't know). not expecting to ever compete with rainandsonder's and anha's own take on this exercise (both brilliant pieces, check 'em out if you haven't already - not that they need my publicity, the superstars) but hey, at least i tried.
thanks dmoral13 for hosting! this is for the sentences category. might've cheated in the last couple of lines because they aren't really sentences, but it would've looked so clunky i just couldn't allow it.

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5 Comments
  • Dmoral

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/126873/version/245084


    about 1 year ago
  • rainandsonder

    this deserves to place in the contest! "Forever's difficult to chew through grinded teeth, to write with thorn-prickled-fingers" was one of my favorite lines here. your writing style, as usual, is gorgeous and steady throughout.


    over 1 year ago
  • Anha

    oh, and thank you for your lovely comment on my entry. it's hard to get genuine feedback these days, and your comments are always welcome!


    over 1 year ago
  • Anha

    wow!! an actual narrative thread. don't discredit yourself, this is a strong entry as anything, and though there were obvious restrictions, you applied yourself really well! such a bittersweet tone; knowing that things must end, and looking to memories that last longer than glances. wish you luck for the contest!


    over 1 year ago
  • Dmoral

    I'm glad you love this prompt, and totally love the fact you added what you learned in the footnotes. This piece is wonderful and great for the competition. I'll allow the wiggle room for you 'cheating' the last couple lines. Only because the reasoning and it adds to the piece! Best of luck!


    over 1 year ago