Peer Review by DesyAnn (United States)

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the moon and the stars

By: midnight sun


PROMPT: Lunar Phrases

the grey sphere
that which holds the craters
upon which the glimmering waves of light bounce off of
i sit here and wonder, "how mystical of her?''

the grey sphere
that which beholds the lunar mysteries 
whose land we took
and left our offensive signature

the grey sphere
orbiting precariously around Earth
has taken the night sky captive
will you let me free?


 


Peer Review

I don't really see any metaphors aside from the line "how mystical of her?" in the first stanza which expresses devotion and awe.


You could stretch this by elaborating how the moon is a beauty that is out of reach, something too ethereal to be touched? You could also compare the moon to a person?


Reviewer Comments

I like how this poem expresses how ethereal the moon is.