Peer Review by DesyAnn (United States)

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craving

By: Sophie Estelle


FREE WRITING



As the skies become impassioned 
And the seas become sullen
The daisies stop blooming 
I start to feel impassive 

As the world turns backwards
And the stars stop aligning 
My mind starts to wander 
I begin to crave answers

When was the last time my eyes were satisfied?
Maybe it was yesterday when the flowers still bloomed
Maybe it was the skies sang of hope
But really, it was when they found you

I seem foolish to still seek the sight
And I’m mad to even think about it
But trust me if I had the choice
I’d never think about you

Yet, as the skies fall
And the daises die
And yet, my eyes are still here
Craving only you


Message to Readers

I’m trying to learn to write poetry. Does this work? Honestly any advice or reviews is helpful. Thanks!


Peer Review

The twist in the middle is beautiful and it really sparks intrigue "But really, it was when they found you". Stanzas are consistent! I like how you chose certain objects or scenery in the world that are normally viewed as beautiful in most other stories/poems (skies, daisies, stars) and turned that view around to emphasize how the character feels (impassioned, sullen). I hope that makes sense


The fourth stanza sparks my interest- they seem frustrated or mad, but why?


Reviewer Comments

This poem is sweet and charming. Nice job