Surly Wombat

United States of America

official write the world parent

Message to Readers

i tried my best.
anyways this feels a lot like the last poem i wrote. has anyone noticed that? any advice on keeping my writing interesting? thanks!
this poem is for @weirdo, from the words luminescent, cacophony, and extraterrestrial

how to breathe in space

July 20, 2019

FREE WRITING

9
cradle the sun in your hands and press it into your chest.
wrap the milky way around your wrists and over your shoulders and let it's luminescence fill your blood with light.
string the earth, jupiter, uranus, mars together, braid them into your hair, listen to the cacophony as they shatter at the cores.
twirl a blackhole between your fingers and pull away it's gravity.
strip off your skin and let your muscles breathe, and watch the stars swirl around you
oh, how breathtaking it is to be so extraterrestrial

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6 Comments
  • FoxLilly106

    Charming! I loved it like any other book I've read!


    about 1 month ago
  • weirdo

    Oh wow. This poem is just beautiful! I love the way you used the words. Thank you for that excellent read


    5 months ago
  • Anha

    such a short piece yet so amazing in its content!! every line is a black hole of metaphorical beauty, space imagery will never fail to interest me; and i'm glad i had the pleasure of reading this. wonderful work, keep it up!


    5 months ago
  • rosemarywisdom

    Holy crap this is amazing! The way you use the structure is especially cool. I love it!


    5 months ago
  • Surly Wombat

    Thanks!


    5 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    this poem itself in luminescent in its celestial beauty, carved as elegantly as a greek sculpture and as gorgeously as the stars. just one thing: there were two instances here where "it's" should be "its"; "it's" is a contraction for "it is" and "its" is a possessive. as for your message to readers, if you feel like you keep writing about the same topics, maybe try using writing prompts or one of those thirty-day writing challenges so you're kinda forced to write about different things? anyway, fantastic work!


    5 months ago