Peer Review by billothee (United States)

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Any Other Steeple/Home

By: Norah


PROMPT: Lunar Phrases

1.
all my dreams and disappointments
come back to me in the moon’s face;
moon man, who wishes sweetness onto the cradles
of the infidels, with their incessant crying
and sings them to sleep with his waxy patience.
only he can hold them, and he will keep them
like no other god could, and he will love them like any other steeple

2.
the moon wishes to be an astronaut when she grows up,
she tells her mother who sighs and says maybe one day
even though she means never and the moon can tell this
lie from the other truths because she rotates everyday
through the windows of her mother’s home, past the dresser
filled with dust and the smoldering cigarettes on the 
living room side table, gathering sound and mystery
while the garden outside grows ever and only upwards 


Message to Readers

I love the moon.


Peer Review

I feel that the vastly different characters’ being represented by the moon is a notable facet of this work. These two phases are made of different individuals and their roles. One looks after children, soothes them, while another is a child that sees when her mother attempts to hide her disregard for her dreams. Their functions in opposition makes one think of oneself, question which phase of the moon they’re closer to, which phase their friends and relatives resemble most. Maybe we’re all both, in a way. Our instincts make us up to be singer and watcher at the basics. Are humans the moon or is the moon human? Seems like a bit of a chicken and egg question.


What about an in-between person, to draw the two phases together in a different light and expand upon this metaphor?


Reviewer Comments

This was absolutely beautiful!! It made me feel in a way that lingered, and inspired me to carry that sensation into my next work. Perhaps if you were to look for any critique, as I’m sure you are as a writer, your flow was a bit disrupted by your imagery in the second stanza. Regardless, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for writing about the bodies of space in a way that explores the character like, and I can’t express it any other way, seeing someone’s entire basic person just by grazing souls in a conversation about their past.