406007

Calling4Rain

Australia

Greetings ladies and gents, and anyone in between :)
I enjoy writing poetry, drawing, reading, and listening to music. Pansexual transguy and proud. <3 Email me @ abuckner0537@gmail.com

Message from Writer

"There is no shame in not knowing. The problem arises when irrational thought and attendant behavior fill the vacuum left by ignorance." -Neil deGrasse Tyson

"Love is Love" <3

“Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?”
― Shannon L. Alder

"Words make you think a thought.
Music makes you feel a feeling.
A song makes you feel a thought."
- E. Y. Harburg

Seriously though, email me. I need some friends. NoThINg MoRE ThAn fRiENds ThoUgH

--Coming Out As Trans--

July 11, 2019

FREE WRITING

3
Erode previous bias
Recarve who you see me as
Out, a terrifying word
Slowly, erode carvings of predetermined gender
I don't know if I'm ready to fuel the acid rain,
Or if I'd rather wait
Neither option is perfect

Suprise! I'm trans! I've been using the term non binary just because of the fact that it's an umbrella term- I wasn't sure of myself, I just knew I was uncomfortable with my body- but I was still getting over years of socialization and conditioning. I still wasn't comfortable with my true identity. Now, it just feels downright wrong to be called a girl. My dysphoria as increased a lot recently, I think due to me coming out to myself and accepting it. Paradoxically, I feel happier. At least I know who I am now, instead of sitting there stuck in a cycle of confusion and denile. 

This poem was me debating on coming out as trans to my mom. I'm not her little baby girl, but that is 'carved' into her mind. It'd be nice if she could instantly accept me as a boy, switch pronouns and call me by a different name, but I know it isn't that easy. It would take time, and it wouldn't be fun. It's terrifying, really. Nothing would be the same. I'm afraid I wouldn't be taken seriously. 

I have a question about hormone replacement therapy. I am transgender, female to male, and want to get on T. The problem is, my mom doesn't know about any of this. Unless I come out, I will have to wait until I'm 18 to start the therapy. Does being 18 and past puberty make taking testosterone less effective than taking it now, at age 15? (Like growth spurts and whatnot) If any of you peeps know anything about this, or has (or had) the same fear, I would be super grateful to you

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  • July 11, 2019 - 2:42pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • Calling4Rain

    Thank you all so much!! Your support means a lot. I don't think I'm ready to come out to my mom yet, we'll see how long I can hold hold out


    3 months ago
  • Kenny

    Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck!


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    i think HRT may be slightly more effective if done before hitting adulthood, but i'm not 100% sure and i suggest that you research it. but even if you do wait until you're eighteen, it's going to be effective. i don't know your mom personally so i can't recommend or not recommend that you come out to her, but if it helps at all, coming out was awkward and scary for me too (i'm also trans, but luckily my parents are very accepting people).


    3 months ago
  • r|A|i|N

    so happy for you!
    if you think that hormone replacement therapy is crucial enough that it's worth talking to your parents about, i would go for it. if it's too scary to speak to your parents right now and you'd rather wait, you could do that too. everything is up to you - what steps to take, deciding who knows and when, etc. you have all of my support and i wish you the best.


    3 months ago
  • Dani A. Remlap

    Wishing you all the luck and courage you need.


    3 months ago