Peer Review by Upsidownpenguin (United States)

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The Only Thing I’m Certain Of Is That I Want To Feel a Younger Star’s Light Across My Eyelids

By: PouringOutTheSun


FREE WRITING

I don’t know, okay? 

Maybe I’ve spent too long wanting to be held in a cherry red mist, with those god touched silhouettes at my back and a river scarring it’s way through my soul.

Maybe I’ve spent too long with my fingers itching to hold my palm against Atlas’ face, to take a little of the weight of the heavens from across his shoulders and drape it over me like some semblance of a new beginning for the damned.

Or maybe, just maybe, I’ve spent too long gliding my hands across paper and across marble, cutting my feet on sharpened glory as I watch the sun curl its way into the sky because it’s still so certain that down below on earth, gods walk the land and they’re aching for something new.


Message to Readers

Seems I’m feeling melancholy. Can anybody lend me a time machine?


Peer Review

Your imagery is packed with heavy meaning and the tone of this piece is delightfully 'melancholy' as you put it


I feel like there's another layer of meaning that the piece is missing. The words allude to such a meaning, but as with many short pieces, the meaning can be lost in abundant abstractness


Reviewer Comments

Lovely work! Yohr writing always leaves me stunned for a few minutes. The way you add voice to your work is excellent, which makes the writing feel like reality for a few moments.