“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.” -Madeline Miller, “The Song Of Achilles.”


Message to Readers

First thing I’ve been happy with in what feels like forever. Although, that only makes me hopeful for improvement so tell me what I could change!

Death Is Nothing If Unexpected

July 7, 2019


“Die under a fiery sky for me.” He says, swishing the candle through the air from where we lay on the marble.

“Hmm?” I mumble and my words are so sleep addled and my brain like some sort of syrup because the night is so sweet and warm, much like the lilt of his voice.

“Don’t die all milky & white in a field of flowers because you tried to run.” He says all matter of factly, like we are not, in fact, discussing the conditions in which I should strive to find myself deceased in. He sets the candle between us and I force myself to lie on my side only as to stare through the flame at him. He’s always ethereal while bathed in light. Something about the sheen of his skin.

“You’d still think I’d run? After all the fires we’ve walked through?”

He shrugs, “could you look me in the eye and say you wouldn’t leave if released from your duties? Could you grab my hand and tell me you wouldn’t rather die by an arrow to the back than a sword through your front?”

“Don’t be stupid,” I gripe, and it’s weak; rather like the grasp I have on this strangely carved reality. “The whistle of the arrow would let me know what’s coming. I wouldn’t get my wish of dying unawares.”

The sound of his sigh makes my heart seize up. He doesn’t roll to face me, instead choosing to stare at the temple ceiling. “Just, could you just,” he stops and takes a breath that hitches in his rib cage, “could you just please try to die while the sky is alight with change?”

“I suppose dying along side you would make the whole affair a lot more pleasant.”

He smiles, a pathetic quirk of his lips, and I wonder out loud to the sky: what exactly got us here?


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  • rainandsonder

    "and it’s weak; rather like the grasp I have on this strangely carved reality" ahhh this is amazing! fantastical and morbid, romantic with the sense that this is the beginning of the end.

    about 1 year ago
  • AbigailSauble

    Beautiful use of language. Almost like a run-on poem rather than a flash fiction piece.
    A suggestion would be to cut back a bit on the flowery language. It's beautiful, yes, but a bit distracting to the actual scene.
    Really well-written. =)
    Keep on!

    about 1 year ago