Fcd0d7b6 7dba 4732 925b f855b002e8c5

polished_sole

Singapore

currently confused

god

July 11, 2019

VERSE 1
when i cry
i create torrents of rain
people’s lives, slain

in a neverending echo
my voice cracks
leaving behind countless deaths

CHORUS
when will my words match
what i want to say
it’s like my own mind
is fading away
let me scream
in this lonely world
if the words ever come one day

VERSE 2
you’re able to smile
because i’m here and giving
the life you’re living

you’re able to cry
because i’m here and taking
the life you’re making

BRIDGE
you who cries in pain in a black dress
you whose sins were never confessed
you who feels absolutely worthless
you, and you, and you
you are my creation and my doing

CHORUS x1

ENDING
when will my words match
what i want to say?

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1 Comment
  • rednosedboy

    Hey polished_sole! I just read your piece and it’s most assuredly my favorite for this competition. It’s. Why unique in that we are not put into the perspective of the writer( at least not literally). It’s very refreshing. My favorite part is the objective tone taken through the piece. I’ve always been a fan of speaking by not speaking and this piece exemplifies that. However I was a little confused as to what the narrators true feelings are. In the verse we find examples and depictions of the results of his action and the control he has over the world. However in the chorus we don’t find a reaction to this. Is he grief stricken at this large supply of power? Is he content with the lives he’s taken? I would like to hear more about this. Right now it just seems as though he feels helpless, and the context of that is not clear. Basically the cohesion between the ideas presented in the verse, and the conclusion presented in the chorus could use some clarity. Beyond that, this a great piece and I’m rooting for!


    5 days ago