Margotkindall

United States of America

Message to Readers

I wrote this thinking about the August competition. Any advice would be wonderful!

Vacation

July 2, 2019

FREE WRITING

2
    Hallie's sneakers slapped the pavement as she ran. Her breath caught in her throat and she could feel sweat trickling down her back. Her hair came loose, blurring her vision, but still, she ran. In the distance, she saw the rooftops of the town her family was vacationing in. Her Mother, Father, and little Brother sitting down for lunch at this very moment. To her right were tall white cliffs reaching towards heaven, to her left, a river. Above Hallie, the sun hung disinterestedly in the flat blue sky.  She could hear her attackers footsteps close behind her. 
Thank you for reading, I'm just looking for peer review for this piece (flash fiction)... I'm also unsure if I should capitalize "Mother" "Father" and "Brother". 

Print

See History
  • July 2, 2019 - 5:03pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

1 Comment
  • Catlover

    In my opinion, I think you should capitalize "Mother", "Father", and "Brother" if that's their names. If not, I think you should lowercase.


    5 months ago