Peer Review by Whateverthismightbe (United Kingdom)

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Shadow in the Moonlight

By: Ryder


Shadow in the moonlight
A raven call
The quiet song
Of a waterfall
A broken harp
Still tries to play
A lost soul begs 
For a better day

Shadow in the moonlight
Prince made king
A flower fairy 
Being taught to sing
Big ship sinks
The little ship sales
Dolphin tries
To herd with the whales

Shadow in the moonlight
Cowboy dreams
All is not 
Quite what it seems
 


Peer Review

I don't really know what the song is about, it seems to be written like a fantasy story but, I don't know what any of the metaphors mean if they even mean anything at all.


"A broken harp still tries to play," I think it just sounds very good and emotional, a lot of lines in the song are like that.


They could have done an intro, verse 1,2,3 and a chorus Instead of a few lines or verses but, I like how the song flows.


Try to shape it into different verses, add a catchy chorus and keep the poetic flow of the song, it is really good!


Reviewer Comments

At first, I didn't really get the song but, now that I've read over it a few times I think I'm starting to understand it better, well done and keep on writing!