Orange

After I finished moving the most valuable of my belongings into what would be my new home for the next few months, after I spent countless nights sobbing in my bed that wasn't really mine, after I let go of the idea of leaving and started making new friends, after I distracted myself by pretending I was in love, after I gave all of myself to a love that was single-sided, after my wrist kissed cold concrete and tears stained my cheeks on the way to the hospital, after those new friends became new tormentors and everything fell to pieces, after I added tally marks to the wall of how many days I spent drowning in my own sorrows, after I let myself wander the beauty of nature, after I let someone in again, after I let my guard down just one more time, after I kissed him in a moment of helplessness and anxiety looking for something to ground me and silence the cachophony rattling through my mind... I arrived at the conclusion that after the orange of the sunset fades into the darkness, there is still beauty and he is still the person that makes me happiest.