Peer Review by Araw (Australia)()

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hourglass

By: agustdv


FREE WRITING




hourglass;
but the world is smiling haphazardly today, teeth and stones and hurricanes sung along, folklore and wisps of a dwindling pipe dream. 
you protest at the unrelenting boredom building a home out of your aching skin; the tinge of fear when a truck barrels past you into the innocuous darkness, like salt and tiramisu, like broken streetlights glaring at you.
i think you think too much, feel too much. two sides and a coin, empty clouds and umbrellas, perhaps i understand this grief you converse with, this ghost whispering over your shoulder as i try to help. i try. i try.



hourglass;
frail, old bones and childish grins, nooses on ancient trees coaxing you closer; the gingerbread man is on fire. 
you lose your guilt in fragments, tombstones wailing, stonehenge and concrete perching on your window-sill; you nearly give in. maybe you wanted to. maybe it would've been for the best.



hourglass; but the clock cries. there isn't any time left. 





 

a requiem for the people who will leave my life very soon.

Peer Review

Your style is unlike any I've ever seen before. It's unique in the best way possible. I love the word choices you make and the gorgeously vivid imagery you use throughout the piece. A lot of it is also incredibly creative and I can tell that you probably make an effort to avoid cliches.


While I think the piece is outstanding, there are parts where I can't discern why certain techniques are used (though this may just be me missing it). I think I've highlighted one instance of it somewhere. In essence, I'd say that in the future, you could probably be a little more decisive with your choices in techniques. Once again, however, I might just be missing some things. Perhaps where I don't see the significance of something, someone else might understand it perfectly.


Reviewer Comments

I can't believe I've only seen your work now on. Your writing is beautiful and the quality of this work is amazing. Hopefully I get to see more of you on the future. Also, sorry for the lateness of this review. You asked for one a while ago on a review bomb, but I've only gotten to it now. Hopefully it's still helpful.