Peer Review by lizharris (United States)

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Gone After I Left

By: Stewart Worthington


PROMPT: Time Traveler

I don't wish to see the beginning of the world or anything between then and now. I only wish to see the day that I left, to see all my mistakes. Your hair was pushed back into a slick ponytail and I didn't know that you looked so beautiful when it was out and draped across your shoulders. Your eyes were a beautiful blue and I didn't know that I loved to stare at them as we spoke. Your mouth stayed straight and I didn't know about the smile that was everything to me. Your voice spoke a soothing tone and I didn't know that I yearned to hear it at times of doubt.You dabbed the tears that rolled down your cheek as the train began to transport us to the battlefield and I didn't know that I wanted you to wave and tell me that you loved me. You faded in the distance as I moved forward to death that I thought awaited me and I didn't know that you had one much closer to your doorstep. You stayed there waiting for me to return as I thought you would and I didn't know that you weren't strong enough to. You grew weaker as gunshots fired and I didn't know that I should have been fighting with you and not for a nation. You faded away then like you did the day I last saw you and I didn't know that I should have held you for a thousand times longer than I did. And you were the best thing that ever happened to me and I didn't know that till now, now that you're gone. So I wish to go back to a time when I didn't know that you would go. 


Message to Readers

I'd love any comments or advice and thank you for taking the time to read this!


Peer Review

You faded away then like you did the day I last saw you and I didn't know that I should have held you for a thousand times longer than I did.


The details are so vivid


Reviewer Comments

This is amazing. You're an awesome writer!