Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Lol, this is so random; I freaking love it. I love the dialogue, the details, and the resentment for Jared.
i think that you should add additional details. Tell us what the ships look like, what the rubble looks like, etc, etc. I like the details you have now, and more of them would add more flavour.
I really like this. CURSE YOU JARED, CURSE YOU! lol