Trees, man, trees

United States

At first I tried, but I wasn't having fun
so I stopped trying
writing is a lot more fun when you anticipate a poor, and in turn, funny, project
ALSO my grammar succcccs, so don't expect much UwU

Message to Readers

criticism are pretty cool, mate.

Being Unstable Isn't a Good Leadership Quality

June 9, 2019

    "Chaos consumed the masses as my predominant ship haphazardly steered into the docks. Screaming, singing, cheers, and melancholy groans could be heard from just about every street in Amare. aboard my ship pirates, buccaneers, thieves, and social outcasts sang shanties, expressing their joy in the newfound access to a world of stealing, killing, and endless drinking."
    Cynthia glanced around the tavern, observing the greasy drunks loitering in their natural habitat. "Why take the risk and steal here? I mean, look around us and tell me that any person in here holds value."
    "We'd steal the alcohol from taverns, raid the homes of the wealthy, and wreak havoc just for the sake of it. Now, interrupt me again with a stupid question, and I won't finish the story you so desperately wanted to hear." He waited as Cynthia rolled her eyes and nodded in agreement before taking a shot and continuing. "As you know, pirates are feared men, so just imagine the terror that erupted when we unloaded and walked into the city, supposedly holding the old mercenary's necklace."
    "Yeah. A few brave souls think it's a good idea to take down us pirates. Forging a rumor like that eradicates any nuisances we have to put up with. Go ahead and try to name a single person who'd willingly challenge a pirate with magic?
    "Smart. I didn't know pirates could be smart."
    "That's an incredibly naive thought process. Let's continue before you embarrass yourself further, shall we?"
    Cynthia pouted, ordering a beer as Eugene began again. "My crew and I, we walked down the grimy, feces bound streets, watching as the crowds dispersed to make room for us. All but one street scattered. Noah was surrounded, mesmerizing the city folk with his fiddle playing. His lips sat in a condescending smirk, like he knew he was a better musician than everyone else. Beside him sat a patchy hat, filled to the brim with cash. Now, I'm a stingy man, so any opportunity to earn more money is appealing. I pushed my way up to him, and grabbed his hat." Cynthia sat impatiently as Eugene chuckled, having trouble speaking through his laughing fit. " This little lad grabbed my wrist, staring daggers and locking eyes with mine. That scrawny boy decided it was a good idea to stand up to a pirate, but not just any pirate; a captain! He was unintimidating, as to be expected, but I was still taken aback by his forwardness. I can only assume he thought I was frightened, as he spoke up. Noah's words have stuck with me to this day, he said ' Listen here you inhumanly large turd ball! Touch my stuff again, and I'll bite your ear off, you hear me? How can your moral standards be so low that you'd steal from an orphan? you need a reality check, sir! Regardless of your piracy, you're just a man! Earn your own cash! ' Well, the kid had the gall to speak up to someone not even grown men would go near, so I dropped the hat, the money clunking as it hit the disgusting sidewalk."
    "Why did you listen to him? I know if an adult said that to you, you'd shank them on the spot."
    "Well, needless to say, I was quite proud of the lad; sticking up for what he believed in. He must've thought I looked scary, must've heard the rumors, yet he put on a brave face. Even I wasn't that brave when I was a young lad. It was refreshing, and gave me hope that society hadn't completely crumbled."
    "Mmmmm... alright then." Cynthia eyed Eugene suspiciously, not taking her eyes off of him as she took a swig of the beer sat in front of her. "Keep going."
    "I told the lad to meet me at that same street at 10:00 sharp that night. He said that he was an orphan, and I was a tad bit tipsy from a few drinks I had earlier on my ship. I decided that if he was brave enough to show up, I'd let him join my crew. We needed a bard for music to go along with our shanties anyway, so I knew the crew wouldn't tear him up."
    "sweet Jes-... he must've been so incredibly terrified!"
    "That was kind of the point, Cynthia. Anyway, I showed, and I offered him a sport on board. He refused, adamant about the fact that he shouldn't interact with criminals."
    "If he said no, why was he apart of your crew?" 
    "Aye. I was so completely drunk by that point, I kidnapped him. Once we were aboard and had set sail, he was trapped. Through persistent niceties, the crew and I persuaded him to play music for us, and eventually really become apart of the crew, the family."
    "You. Are. A. Complete. Moron. My. Goodne-"
    The tavern door swung open, banging as it hit the wall, leaving a dent. In walked a tall, muscular man in a long black coat, fiddle strapped to his back. The most noticeable trait, however, was a giant, condescending smirk playing at his lips. Immediately recognizing the old pirate and young girl sat at around the bar, the smirk changed to one of complete and total happiness.
    "You guys are having a party and you didn't invite me? I am utterly betrayed! I don't think I'll ever recover!" Noah prompts raised his hand over his head, mimicking a swooning pose. "enlighten me. What'cha fellas talkin' about?"
    Well, your future bride came here, forcing me to tell her how you and I met." Eugene plainly stated.
    "Ah yes, the ol' kidnap. Why didn't ya' just as me, cyn?
    "Hero complex." She instantly replied.
    "Hero complex." Eugene mimicked in agreement.
    "OH, come on! I wouldn't lie." The two shared a glance and laughed. "You people suck, ya' know that?" With that one last snarky comment, Noah sat down next to them, loving his small makeshift family.



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1 Comment
  • LavenderB

    How interesting. I love this piece, but can I just note there was a few grammatical errors within this piece, small typos.
    May I also does this into the fantasy aspect of the competition? This piece does a lot of telling, not showing. I understand if this were historical fiction, with a stretch.
    Criticism aside, this is a good piece, and I would like to see more from you.

    about 2 years ago