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ethereal.otherworldly

United States

soft n sapphic

dreaming of goddesses, sunflowers and italian sunshine.

Message to Readers

back from the dead with a very different style of poetry. please comment, this website is hard to get feedback on

momma said she met god kneeling in the creek behind mr smith's farm

June 7, 2019

FREE WRITING

21
in a flurry of light, i invent a crying world. oh, say, can't you tell she's a newborn? earth's cracked and red, body weight 40.8 billion tons - a small girl, my hypothetical nurse comments (whether it's a question or statement i don't know). the fantasy flickers and she explodes into a flock of indigo birds -  my young world's first occupants. i hand them dreams of swimming in glassy volcanoes and leave them to evolve in a corner of the cosmos.

i speak a dead language and turn entropy into a river made of macaque feathers. slump down into a nest of cosmic fire ants, give them a taste of neocapitalism, kill them easy as blinking. out of the corner of my eye, i watch galaxies collide and slip into a sleep longer than the lifetime of the sun.

time is a shining coccyx in my halo of bones and space junk. time is a dance i've never learned.

maybe today i'll invent religion. by "today" i mean sometime before the red supergiant by the galactic food court dies, and by "invent religion" i mean i'll throw down a tablet inscribed with some bullshit to the nearest civilization i can find and let them kill themselves over it. maybe today i'll be sidetracked by the smell of apple pie prepared by no one. maybe today i'll kill that red supergiant myself and turn his blood into a tapestry of dust clouds. beneath my salt-tinged knuckles, every sky's a crime scene.

i awake from a millennia-long sleep in the cat's eye galaxy and order an interstellar train to the milky way. a conductor made of dust arrives and beckons me aboard, empty eyes swirling and stormy. i shoot him through his dirt-and-sand brain with a revolver i've found drifting through the galaxy when we arrive, and disembark from the train onto a dusky planet smelling of sweat and rage. as i kneel by the river watching the salmon spawn, a greasy-haired, swollen-bellied woman with grey eyes and a jaw like stone asks, god, are you lonely up there in heaven? i sure would be. i laugh like the rattling of bones in a strange, puckered tongue like hers. darlin', i've built galaxies from broken ribs and made rings of planets around my pupils. i don't need company.

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7 Comments
  • PouringOutTheSun

    This almost made me cry & scream, it’s so good. It’s so disdainful & lovely and it made my stomach clench as I read it. My heart did a little somersault as I read the title and it continued flipping as I read through your piece. It’s fantastic


    3 months ago
  • CrowSF

    I love this! It reminds me of a wordier, more metaphorical Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    me: hey, i'm kinda improving on my writing. i feel like maybe i'm not that bad.
    me after reading this: ...nevermind.
    but seriously, reading this makes me want to start banging my head on my keyboard and scream for an hour because this is so. freaking. good. i don't even know what to comment, i'm just completely dumbstruck by this piece. now excuse me while i stare at a wall for the rest of the day having an existential crisis over this.


    4 months ago
  • Wicked!

    Whoa. This is an amazing piece. The part about inventing religion is so damn good, I'm definitely going to throw that in some religious fanatic's face.


    4 months ago
  • loveletterstosappho

    i adore this, and not just the description-- the tone of it, the absolute fucking sass in this piece gives me life. neocapitalism and fire ants? the whole bit about inventing religion? i love your narrator and the last line.


    4 months ago
  • she's-got-a-story

    - your style, as usual, is overwhelming and delicate all at the same time. imagery 10/10. "galaxies from broken ribs... rings of planets around my pupils" -- just an amazing image. your descriptions have matured and are still gorgeous; my all-time-favorite part about your writing has become even better.
    -emotion: reading this hits hard. it feels like watching a movie. (i've been working on writing the overlap of film and prose myself lately, but you've done it much more successfully than i have so far.) i give credit not only to the imagery you've used, but the dialogue and emotion also contribute to this feeling: like watching a beautiful montage of growing up and creating and dying.
    - the dialogue you've included is especially interesting. i don't know if you listen to Bastille (great band), but most of the songs off of their album Wild World start with a sound byte, such as a news report or lines from an old movie, that segues into the song and sets the tone, while giving some commentary on the ideas about to be presented. your "a small girl" segues beautifully into the descriptions of a goddess-like creature of power and arrogance, and i also love the cut in of "god, are you lonely up there in heaven?" these lines provide contrast to the ideas shown in the piece, of power and reckless will, and show weakness. it creates an atmosphere and a feeling and a weight. i love it.
    -your work is vulnerable and powerful at the same time and that is what is so beautiful about it. in this piece you have taken the best elements of your work- the imagery and emotion and ability to create atmosphere- and honed them in. really, really good work.
    - my one critique is that this piece is hard to follow. it feels a little bit aimless, like a finely crafted, very sharp arrow with no clear destination. that might have been your intention in writing it, but i feel that this piece has very few concrete elements to hold onto. the gorgeous description has little grounding. again, maybe that was the goal, for the reader to feel lost in a void of things not yet created.
    -anyway i love it. i only check this website anymore to see if you've posted. glad to see you're still refining your skills.


    4 months ago
  • A Certain Type of Decisive

    Um, Wow?? This is so good? I knew it was going to be great by the title, but I've been thrown to the floor with the breath knocked out of me. Nice.


    4 months ago