Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I would LOVE for any sort of constructive criticism on this piece! If you could take the time to put what you think (good or bad) of it, I would really appreciate it!
The fiery river was amazing. I wanted to know why she was on it and what was going on! Great hook.
I feel like the gatekeeper could be developed more and really add to the story.
I am a little confused by the river. Why does it send up sparks? I get that it burns,but where are the sparks coming from?
I really loved this. Your very words seemed magical and enchanting! You were so descriptive and you caught and held my attention so well! Great job. I hope you turn this into a full length story or book even! :)
Just be careful of balancing being in Asa's thoughts and describing it from outside of her.