Peer Review by RockSugar98 (Singapore)

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On the Water

By: Mgracel


PROMPT: Everyday Magic

They laughed and they cried- but mostly they laughed as they soared over the waves in this magical place. A place where they were strong enough to live freely. A place to have pizza and coke on a rusty old pontoon boat. A place in the middle of the lake, where no one and everyone was watching. A place that only existed until the sun set. A place where a simple high five could lead to so, so much more.


Peer Review

I really loved your imagery and the friendship between the duo described here. I wonder if the waves were a metaphor symbolizing how long their friendship has come. I think that'd be a very beautiful way of putting it. The casualness, no-frills yet genuine and everlasthing friendship is encapsulated in your short and sweet piece. Nicely done!


I loved your carefree tone with a hint of adventure to it. It's like following Tinkerbell and Peter Pan on an adventure to Neverland. But from what you're describing I think this place trumps the mythical place. Your usage of seperate sets of images and setting also paints very vivid pictures. The ending in which the "high-five could lead to so, so much more" serves as a food for thought which I really like as it keeps the reader's imagination flowing with possible outcomes.


You infused quite a number of beautiful proportions of imagery into the piece, which made it very surreal. Even though it was only 1-2 sentences, but I felt it was sufficient to conjure up the deepest imagination in the reader.


Reviewer Comments

I really enjoyed this piece! I wonder what will happen after they reach the island? Will they feast on junk food everyday away from the judging of other health junkies that they had previously encountered? How is that place in the lake centre so magical? But I guess the last line where the high-five was impacted with power was so intriguing! Perhaps you might consider elaborating on that, and maybe elaborating on the pontoon boat? That'd make this already wonderful piece even better.